In my heart I have felt a stirring. I have been bothered by the small, seemingly insignificant, mention of women in the scriptures. In my heart I know there is more than what I currently "see". I know that in some ways I am being led astray by the adversary by the sometimes bitter thoughts and feelings that enter my heart. Knowing that this is not a sign from God, but the pure opposite, I have been searching deeper. I realized that I must work harder; that the adversary is working incredibly hard on me to prove that, as a woman, I am nothing. I know by the spirit this is NOT true, and yet I have allowed the adversary to beguile me, to stir my heart to anger, frustration, and rebellion. I don't have anything to prove, but I do have a desire to know my personal significance to my Father in Heaven. Who am I? What is my purpose? What is my mission here upon the earth as a woman, mother, daughter, and wife?
I have no desire for more leadership, to have the priesthood, or to have worldly recognition or praise. I just want to know what I personally mean to the Lord, perhaps learn to embrace and love my role as a woman. I need a personal witness and testimony of my mission and my role. What does it mean to be a woman?
By no coincidence I have stumbled upon a blog that has touched my heart (www.womeninthescriptures.com). It has begun to enlighten my mind of what I have been searching for, and perhaps what I can share by personal, honest, heartfelt testimony. I do not know what is ahead, or why I am being led in this direction, but I know it is the way I must go to calm my troubled heart.
My challenge that I am accepting for the next year is to find all references to women in the scriptures. Any mention of womb, breast, or anything relating to the functioning of a woman's body, plus any names unknown or known I wish to study and ponder to find what women mean to God.
I hope through this experience I can gain insight, truth, and peace in my life. I want to be able to give a more sincere effort to my life as a mother and wife. Here is to the beginning of a profound journey.
