New Year Challenge

It's been a while, but I'm back...so the holidays ya they are CRRRAAAAZZYY!!! I avoid the Black Friday shopping bananza like the plague. I did it one year, waited in the freezing cold in the wee hours of the morning just to NOT get what I wanted. NEVER AGAIN!!! I know it's a tradition for most of you out there, but it is one tradition I will never grasp onto. I like my sleep, no let me rephrase that...I LOVE my sleep. And honestly, I don't like fighting LARGE crowds, MEAN people, and LONG lines. I would rather pay $10 more than have to race for the "good stuff" Although I could probably take anyone that got in my way:) I'm just sayin... so Christmas doesn't get done until the last minute at our home. We always get most of the stuff early, but then wait until the 23rd to get the rest...it's ridiculous really and goes against what I just said above because when it gets close to crunch time LARGE crowds, MEAN people, and LONG lines start to emerge. So I guess I'm no different than anyone else, I'm just a procrastinator so I have my long list of excuses to cover myself..lol

So with the craziness of the holidays comes the MOUNDS and MOUNDS of food, and delicious treats. And my tips are very limited at this time of year. I LOVE my treats like I LOVE my sleep. So what's the big secret? How does one stay in good shape? Well...it's not going to be a magical answer, or anything you haven't heard before...It takes a DECISION and then putting that decision into ACTION. I know, soooo profound, right? Our minds are actually very powerful, no let me rephrase that they are EXTREMELY powerful. What you tell yourself everyday has an enormous influence on what you believe about yourself, and what you do on a day to day basis. I'm reading this book called The Slight Edge I recommend it it will give you a new perspective on what you spend your time doing day to day. It has given me a new perspective on the power of doing the little things in life. You all know I exercise 5-6 days a week, but I didn't always. In fact 2 years ago I did a whole lot of nothing. Something clicked for me. I can't put my finger on it, but my perspective changed. I made the DECISION to go for it, just to see if I could. Then I actually started seeing the changes. Before the changes I still saw myself as the athletic girl from high school, who could kick anybody's trash on any field or court they put in front of me. Then I took a before picture and started doing P90X and took a HUGE bite of humble pie.  I hadn't realized what I had been doing, which was nothing. You can't be fit if you just do nothing, but for whatever reason I felt like I was the exception to the rule. From that point on my life has changed FOREVER. But here's the kicker....I didn't get there in a day, a week, a month, or even 90 days! I am on day 400 since I got P90X! Time flies... Each of those days of working out adds up, and so do all the days I didn't, however, I can look myself in the mirror and say about 340 of those days have been workout days:) give or take a few. How many days did you workout this year, compared to how many days you didn't? Put all expectations of what I mean here out of your mind. I am not giving my statistics for a pat on the back or a round of applause or anything of the like. This is not about getting the "body" this is about health. The Center of Disease Control states that 67% of noninstitutionalized adults age 20 years and over are overweight or obese! That is epidemic proportions! The slight edge basically means, what we do or don't do adds up. It may not kill you today not to exercise, but if you add up all the days you don't you are that much closer to a shorter life. You could make that statement about a lot of things, but the new year is coming up QUICK. And though most people start "thinking" about their health for the new year, very few stick with it. It's very difficult to climb back on the wagon once you've fallen off, and sometimes even harder to climb on for the first time, but I am throwing out a challenge. What if 340 days from today you could look in the mirror and say you did it? Do you think your body would change in that amount of time? I know it would! It has for me and I feel like if I don't share my experience, or share what I have found for myself, I would be cheating all of you. Pick a program from Beachbody, or go to the gym, or whatever, just get active and let's do this thing! Be here a year from now. Commit to working out 4 to 5 days a week. If you commit 4 days that's 274/365, and 5 days a week is 292/365. Find a buddy, or a coach;) (it's FREE to have me as a coach, no strings attached) to support you and hold you accountable. You can sign up for a free membership  just click on join and then try free membership. You'll have access to tools that will help you keep track of your progress. That's right I said FREE, no catch, just FREE! It has made all the difference for me, and it can do the same for you...

Results...

INSANITY... I heart Shaun T:) I think I will make a t-shirt... or send in my afters and get a free one. It's true if you complete the program and send in your before and after's they send you a t-shirt that says "INSANITY...I earned it"

Okay so I finished as of Saturday last week. Cardiovascularly, I am feeling incredible...almost as good as soccer shape. Now I told you about the first half of INSANITY, and I'm not gonna lie, it was tough, tough, tough!!! But the second half HOLY MOLY!!!

Day 1 of month 2- Fit Test plus Max Interval Circuit...WHAT THE?!!! That's 90 minutes by the way, and by the end I literally had nothing left. I left it all on the floor by the puddle of sweat.

Day 2 OOHHHH! It's only an hour, oh well... that makes everything okay then. WHATEVER PEOPLE! 90 minutes or an hour it all feels the same by the end. I don't care who you are! When they say MAX intervals, well...that means you give it everything you've got with as many as you can muster out of your exhausted body! So of course, I wouldn't disappoint myself I GAVE IT ALL!!!

By the end of the week, I was drained, completely and totally drained, but I gotta say I slept like a baby:) Or rather a teenager who could sleep til' noon...anyway. I slept great, but was very grateful for Sunday where I had an excuse to do nothing, but eat. Did I mention that my appetite has been nearly impossible to satisfy?!

I am very happy to report that each week got progressively better though. Even though I was pushing to my max, I could feel the improvement with each week...so cool to recognize and feel the change by the way.

So I am finished with the 60 day series, but I am not putting it away just yet. I have created a P90X-INSANITY hybrid (3 days a week of weights, and 3 days a week of cardio). I have missed Tony because I heart him too, and my weights. As much as I LOVE cardio, it's the weights that sculpt the muscle that burn the fat. Yes, INSANITY does do strength training, but it comes purely from your own body weight.

What a journey it has been. Keep pushing play...life is good:)

Guilt?

Invincible...nope, definitely not. Undending willpower... I wish! Frustrated...all the time! Focus...well that all depends on what is being focused on.

I have now had a sugar binge for the last 3 days. Now I'm talking throw-it-all-to-the-wind-who-cares-how-many-calories-it-is kind of binge. Why do I confess this? Because I have no idea what my problem is! Sugar addiction is definitely a possibility. Stress could also be a factor, or maybe it's the relentless pressure I put on myself on a regular basis. Whatever the reason, I sometimes wonder how people do it. I read things all the time about how to enjoy Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas without the guilt. Tips always include things like eat Jolly Ranchers instead of a Snickers bar. Now who in this world enjoys Jolly Ranchers over a Snickers bar...Seriously?!

Now that brings me to another topic GUILT! What is it?

• The state of having committed an offense
• Remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense
• Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes - whether justified or not - that he or she has violated a moral standard, and is responsible for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt

Remorse, I actually felt remorse for having committed a perceived offense. HA! Offense? Eating candy and treats is bad in my mind! It really is. Where in my world did this belief actually manifest itself? I go to bed disappointed in myself. I ask myself questions like: Why is it so hard for you to just not eat it? Why can't you be strong like so and so, or so and so? And then I really get harsh, You'll never look like that if you do this!!! And do you want to know what all of that creates, more guilt, and self-loathing, and then more binging. It's a vicious cycle and it's not worth it!

Now before you all get all theraputic and weird on me, I'm just making a point. I felt all those feelings, it's true. After eating mounds of candy tonight I really felt bad, and guilty, and full of remorse, especially knowing I "failed" again after I told myself I would be strong today. And then I read a story. It was a story Tanner picked for bed time. It could not have been a better pick for that moment. It was an easy read, something Tanner will probably be able to read by the end of kindergarten if not sooner, but it made a very good point. It was about a Panda bear who was happy, until he met all these other animals that told him he looked funny. So the Panda changed himself to look like each of the animals that said he looked funny. He made ears like an elephant, a tail like a lion, and a jacket like a zebra. Then he ran into another Panda and realized he was perfect just as he was. So simple, right?

The guilt comes from the gazillion advertisements about what the "perfect" body looks like. Or statements like "guilty pleasures" Why does a candy bar have to make me feel guilty? It's just a pleasure! Or it may even come from people that can do workout videos like INSANITY. I'm not gloating here, again I'm making a point...

We are all striving for OUR best. So this guilt stuff has got to stop! Be your best you. One step at a time, and one thing at a time. I will never be perfect at everything, but today I will be perfect at one thing. Today I woke up, read my scriptures, and said my morning prayers. I have not done that for an embarassingly Loonnnngggg time. But today I was perfect at it:) And it felt wonderful. By comparison my binge today means very little in the whole scheme of things. I just bet my panda looks just like yours, and I realized I am perfect just as I am...

Here's to OUR BEST life

FUN!!! I'd do it in a heart beat:)

I got this in an email from a friend and I decided I should share. It's amazing what a little fun can do to motivate. Thefuntheory.com has some silly ideas on getting people to respond to things that they normally don't take the time to think about, or things they overlook. This one is my favorite.

Young or old Life is meant to be enjoyed!

Kindergarten and Exercise

I don't know what it is about kindergarten that turns children into monsters. Is it the influence of other kids, or do they just want to test their wings so they push the boundries more? Whatever the case I DO NOT LIKE IT!!! Man...the mouthiness is really unbearable. Tanner actually called me a FREAK the other day. Where in the world did that come from? And I go from being the "World's Greatest Mom" to "You are so mean, I want to live in a different family, one where they won't yell at me!" I told him to go ahead and search because there is not one Mom I know in this world that doesn't yell at her kids. And if you happen to be one of those Mom's... I don't want to hear about it!

Yesterday I was heading to my workout with children in tow, just like I do every day, only this time Tanner woke up REALLY, REALLY ornery. Usually it takes him a few minutes to get over it, but not this time. He carried on and on and on and on and on about how unfair his life was, that everyone else has toys, but him. Now let me preface this with the fact that my kids are required to wake up, be fully dressed and groomed, and eat breakfast BEFORE the TV gets turned on, so when it's time for exercise we just go. Tanner decided that the rules didn't apply to him yesterday. I had to drag him through each step. And of course, I'm the meanest Mom ever because I made him turn off the TV. So instead of being prepared with toys, we had to rush out the door to be on time, and so the toys were left home. However most days he never brings toys anyway which makes his complaint completely irrational.

Well by this time we are into our workout about 15 minutes. I have a pretty good sweat on, but Tanner is STILL RANTING! Can you be done already because I really want to focus! And I really don't care that a 3 year-old wants to play with the toy he brought and doesn't want to give it to you so SERIOUSLY be QUIET!!! Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine ,whine...did I mention whine?! Okay there is only so much I can take, so I picked him up (stopping my workout which is not a good thing) and took him to the foyer. He continues to carry on about how dumb I am and that he is being treated unfairly, and blah blah blah blah! Well I ended up packing up all my things, except for my dvd's because they were in use, and stormed home. I don't usually do that, and I WON'T do it again.

All I'm asking for here is one hour for myself. That's it... ONE HOUR!! I really don't think that's a lot to ask for. The rest of my time is dedicated to what everyone else needs or wants. I need ONE hour to be a good mom. ONE hour to feel good. ONE hour to focus my mind. ONE hour to be selfish. And ONE hour to bring my athlete back. The other gazillion hours are about everyone else. So when my ONE hour gets taken it SUCKS! And I am not happy about it, and I won't pretend to be. Well Tanner and I had a phone conversation with Daddy, and I had to find a corner of the house to "lose it" in.

We have an understanding for now, but for a moment there I thought I was going insane. I have one volume and that's LOUD, and perhaps many variations of LOUD. I don't think anyone can fully understand how important exercise is to me. I just NEED it... the way I need sleep, and food. It makes me feel normal, and that can be hard to come by with children.

I am happy to report that Tanner, Keira, and Kody all woke up in good spirits today:) YAY!!! It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does happen it's a GREAT day.

Fitness Party

Some of you have heard about this through an email, but I wanted to make sure I got to those who haven't heard from me yet.

I am doing a Fitness Party at my house. I have wanted to do this for a while, and I seriously cannot think of why I haven't yet. Anyway, a lot of you have questions about the How To's of fitness. One of the biggest one's is "How do you stay motivated?" Well here is your chance to find out. I am addressing fitness questions and am setting you up on a path to a more fit life. I want to show you that eating healthy is very satisfying and DELICIOUS so you get to sample the foods that I've been eating. I'll be talking about Shakeology, Exercise, Good Nutrition, Supplementing your diet, and the tools I use that have assisted me along the way. There's a gift to take home to assist you on your new fitness journey, and a prize for the winner of my game!

There are two dates to choose from: Thursday, November 12 @6:30pm, and Saturday, November 21 @2:00pm. Pick the date that works for you and send me an email to fit2bhappy@beachbodycoach.com with your address, and phone number (for reminder calls) and I will get you an invitation.

I am so excited about this! Fitness, food, games, and being around people who are looking for answers just like you! I can't think of anything better:)

I look forward to hearing from you.

ENTHUSIASM

Enthusiasm is “emotional management,” the ability to control the emotional temperature of any personal situation.

Enthusiasm is the way you “squeeze the trigger” to other people’s emotions, they help and support you instinctively.

Enthusiasm glows… radiates.. permeates…and immediately captures everyone’s interest.

Enthusiasm is the “advance man” who paves the way for new ideas.

Maybe the enthusiasts aren’t the most cultured people in the world, but they are the only ones who make history

If you were to take my money and my other tangible assets from me but let me keep my enthusiasm, it would be but a short while before I’d be as wealthy as ever.

Enthusiasm is the producer of confidence that cries to the world “I’ve got what it takes” without you ever uttering a word of boast.

Enthusiasm helps us to compete with ourselves, to match today against yesterday.

Only with the compulsive drive of enthusiasm can we find encouragement in past mistakes.

Enthusiasm is the yeast that raises the dough.

“Enthusiasm!!” is the greatest one word slogan for living ever devised.

- Paul J. Meyer

Week 4 of INSANITY

WOW! WOW! and DOUBLE WOW! I am inspired, exhausted, and thrilled to death. I am on week 4 of INSANITY and I am feeling stronger, and more fit than ever:)

Day 1 was the Fit Test, my response, "No problem, I've been doing P90X, so naturally I can do anything!" Well... a wake up call was in order. I was dripping and huffing and puffing like never before. And when I say dripping, I mean sweat literally landing on the floor and drenching my shirt sweat, and this was the fit test...What have I gotten myself into?

I am doing these workouts 6 days a week, and I am loving it!!!!

Week 2...I can't decide if Pure Cardio, or Plyometric Cardio Circuit is worse. Either way, my muscles are screaming and I am pushing for just one more. Come on Lyenna, one more you can do it. At this point I'm wishing for a mirror just so I can see if my form is correct. I'm trying with everything I have to keep by butt down in plank, and keep my knees behind my feet in squats, and tighten my core during suicides...YIKES! But one more you can do it, and I do and it's exhilarating!

Week 3...fit test again. Wow! I improved, in just 2 weeks, is that possible? I keep pushing, only now not only do I do Pure Cardio, I now add 14 minutes of abs. In my mind I'm wondering if I can do this. I am exhausted. I gave it everything. We cooled down and now we're warming up again...THIS IS NUTS! I have to jump again? But I do it, and my abs are on fire! The tiniest move sets them on fire. I feel like I'm training for something huge like a championship, or a marathon, or the OLYMPICS!!!! But I feel incredible:) And tired...yep definitely tired.

Week 4 is this week and so far I have done Mon-Thur. And I look forward to every workout...Seriously I wake up get dressed in my stuff and can't wait to kick my trash. I am an addict I tell ya and I love it!!!!

I have been on the message boards at TEAMBeachbody almost every day. I am always hungry, so I'm trying to figure out how to keep it together by eating the "right" foods. Shakeology has helped a ton. It keeps me honest and gives me EVERYTHING my body craves. I love that stuff.

I am ignoring the scale for now because it can be very misleading, and I am focusing on measurements. The Beachbody body fat calculator has me at 18% body fat, not bad, but my goal is 14% (that's professional athlete status) Course my diet has got to be a lot cleaner, so I'm not pushing that goal too hard right now. Now I'm going to get on a soap box here for a second. Supplements people, you need them! I was not always a believer in such things, after all we can get all the nutrients we need from food...right? WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Have you seen the typical American diet?! But it's not just that. We're talking soil depletion from OVERuse, pesticides, and the fact that we just don't eat enough fruits and vegetables in any given day...AND for the fish haters out there Omega 3's are vital, and no you can't get it from deep fried whatever! So with that said, I don't care where you get the supplement from, even though I know of a pretty great place, make sure you do it because a healthy body needs it. Oh and one more thing, you get what you pay for so be choosy. If you want some recommendations I'd be happy to assist:)

For all you fitness enthusiasts keep pushing and DIG DEEPER. I think our minds get in the way of what we can accomplish... surprise yourself with just one more, it truly is exhilarating. Ooh...Ooh...Ooh, guess what's coming:) That's right, does Beachbody ever cease to amaze us... it's a new video... RevAbs. I don't think it is nearly as tough as INSANITY but they even tell you that you shouldn't do INSANITY back to back, it's a 60 day program, not a every day for the rest of your life program. That would be overtraining which is not a good thing. It is designed for maximum results by putting your body through INTENSE intervals. Besides variety is the spice of life, right?

If you want to learn more about becoming a coach you know where to find me:) I love it! I love it because it makes me better! And I love it because I feel like I am doing something to make a difference in the world. It is so fun to discover who I am, and what I'm made of. Find your passion, whatever that may be, and live in it, swim in it, sing in it, and dance in it. And love being you! Because you are perfect exactly as you are...

Why I do what I do

I get questions all the time about why I push so hard, why I like to exercise so much, why I "deprive" myself of living and enjoying life (because eating unhealthy food, and sitting on the couch is "living" and "enjoying" life, I guess), why I have such lofty goals, why those goals are so important to me, what do I really want anyway? The list of questions goes on and on. It's funny really because I am a highly competitive person. This includes being competitive with myself. So to me, the answer should be obvious, right? Well for those who still have questions here's why.

Some of you may have heard of a man named Jack LaLanne. He's an American Icon for health and fitness and an inspiration to me, most people know him as the "juicer guy" but he's so much more than that. He just recently had a birthday on Saturday, September 26. He is now 95 years old and hasn't slowed down a bit:) This blog shares a few of his accomplishments. So why do I mention this man...well here's a little quote on why Jack trains the way he does which expresses almost exactly how I feel about it. "I train like I'm training for the Olympics or for a Mr. America contest, the way I've always trained my whole life. You see, life is a battlefield. Life is survival of the fittest. How many healthy people do you know? How many happy people do you know? Think about it. People work at dying, they don't work at living. My workout is my obligation to life. It's my tranquilizer. It's part of the way I tell the truth--and telling the truth is what's kept me going all these years." I want to reiterate that this man is 95 years old and shows no signs of slowing down.

So why do I do what I do?! To live my best life. It's simple really. I am in competition with myself, and frankly I like to sweat and burn. I like the sweat dripping off my face, and I LOVE feeling my muscles scream for relief. I know it sounds incredibly strange, but I truly love the way I feel after. After a hard workout I always feel...fit. And like most of the women I workout with know, I can come in pretty grumpy and leave completely happy. Exercise makes me happy. Because an angry Lyenna is not a fun person to be with:)

I am not nearly as disciplined as Jack Lalanne, but I'd like to be. I often wonder where people, like Jack, get their will-power because what I've found is it boils down to what goes on in my head. I've gotten a lot better, but it's taken a lot of practice. I don't think practicing ever stops though.

Always be better than you were the day before. Those are the words I live by.

I'm Okay

Blogging really is theraputic, as my very wise cousin Tina, put it. So here I am once again blogging for the 3rd time in a matter of days. I think the Roush emotions swing high and low on a day to day, and minute by minute basis.

I want to first give a shout out to the people who love me. THANK YOU!!! If it were not for you and your cheering, I would be a sad sort indeed. Life is quite an adventure...

This leads me to why I'm blogging. I have been humbled today. I was thinking about all the things I have been complaining about and I realize I have brought a lot of it on myself. I have learned, in a not so pleasant way, that what I think, manifests itself because I look for it to validate why I think that way. Okay let me explain. If I feel insecure about, lets say, what I'm wearing, I automatically feel like everyone is looking at me because I am uncomfortable in what I'm wearing. Then if a comment is made, even if it is innocent in it's intent, I have a tendency to manipulate it and turn it into something much bigger than what it was because of what my thought was originally. This could be said about a lot of things in life. If you believe people don't like you, you will find reasons why you're right. I am the master at this, and it is one of the reasons why I play the role of victim so well. So I apologize. I am still a work in progress, and I'm glad for that.

Beyond all that, I am grateful for this rocky journey I am on. It is amazing to me at the timing of all of this. I feel like I am being molded and tested at a very rapid rate. I truly feel that Heavenly Father is on my side. More than that He gives me assurances and quick "hugs" of the spirit to let me know I'll be okay. And He sends angels like all of you to pick me up when I fall.

So I'm good...and who needs a psychiatrist when I have a journal that talks back:)

Haters

I want to tell you about an experiment I heard about. In a room there were placed several monkeys. In the center of the room was a poll with bananas hanging from the top. When one of the monkeys would decide to climb the pole to retrieve a banana they would get drenched with freezing water. Squealing with surprise, the monkey would immediately leap from the pole without their precious prize. Each monkey in turn would attempt to get the bananas, but would come up empty handed. Soon one of the monkeys was replaced with a new monkey, who had not experienced this consequence. When the new monkey would attempt to climb the pole, all the other monkeys who were drenched at one time, would pull the monkey down. Each time the monkey would start to climb, the others would pull him down. After several times of this happening eventually the monkey gave up. Another monkey was then replaced, and the same thing would happen. Even the monkey who had never been drenched participated in pulling down the monkey who attempted to retrieve the bananas. Eventually all the monkeys were replaced by others who had never been drenched by the freezing water, but none could retrieve the bananas or so much as attempted to retrieve them after being pulled down, and none of them knew why.

Interesting isn't it? The same could be said about lobsters in a bucket. There is no need to place a lid on the top of a bucket when there is more then one lobster inside. Why? Because once one makes an attempt to escape the others will drag him down. Interesting...

Haters are the people that hope to see you fail. They want to see you mess up, and if they don't they will find a way to make you feel horrible. If that doesn't work, they may find others who agree with them and then gang up on you. If that doesn't work...Well you get the picture. They do this because they are insecure about their own choices and decide this way they can feel better about themselves. Why is it that when you try to make your life better, people hate you for it? For example you make the decision to watch what you eat, let's say you refuse dessert, or you don't go back for seconds, or whatever. Suddenly you become the center of attention. "Why aren't you having dessert," they say. Your response, "I'm just watching what I eat." It's pretty direct, no fluff, no muss, very simple. They reply, "OOOOHHHH! You look fine, one little piece won't hurt you. Look how good it is. I can't believe you won't even try it. I made this just for you." And on and on and on. Then others begin to chime in. "What are you on a diet, or something? Hey Jack, Lyenna's on a diet, can you believe that. She's 27 and she's worried about what's she's eating." "Lyenna's doing what?! You don't need to do that, besides it was for you. Mary made it from scratch, you would hurt her feelings if you didn't eat it." "Lyenna, why aren't you eating the dessert. You told me it was your favorite. You always eat this." So now you have a room of people staring at you. All the attention is on you. This is not something you asked for. In fact, your response was as discreet as you could possibly make it. You stare at the dessert that has been shoved in your face. You stare at all the eyes looking at you. And you quietly take the dessert. They all watch to make sure you take a bite, and then you do. You have been dragged down... You are then sad, and begin to question yourself. Why am I doing this again? It's just too hard. What's the point anyway? Interesting isn't it...we are not so far removed from animals.

I have made some very big decisions in my life. I have also made some very big changes. I continue to press forward, despite the set backs, and believe me, they have been coming in truck loads. Thank heavens for my support system. These are people who love me for me. Who see the real value in what I'm trying to accomplish. And do not slap judgements on me because of their own insecurities.

Yes people this is a rant! My heart, as tough as a I paint it to be, has been hurt. My story above is purely hypothetical. Though I have faced those very things, it is not what fuels my anger.
People can be cruel. I am not so foolish that I can't see the underhanded slaps, the kind of comments that are meant to come across as completely innocent, when in fact, their intent is read LOUD and clear.

I have dared to climb that pole, and no amount of cold water, or hands that reach for me will bring me down. And if by chance, I fall, I will climb again, and again, and again, and again!!!! To HELL with those who don't see the value in that. Because I will have the last laugh, when I receive my prize!

I am who I am! I love what I love! Why would anyone want to take that from me? I rejoice in the successes of others. I rejoice when someone dares to make a change. Because they dared!

ANGER...is a second emotion to what is happening inside. It is a response to being hurt, and sometimes it comes out before you even realize what the first emotion was. I am angry, but I cried first. I am fiesty, but I was hurt, FIRST. Guilt, sadness, pain, whatever, ALL OF IT came FIRST!!!

Anything worth while takes work, A LOT of it! I did not get where I am today because I sat on my ass and said a prayer. I worked for it, just as I will continue to do. I pay attention to what I use to fuel my body, and I feel better than I ever have. THAT is NOT a coincidence! And that is not made up to promote anything!!! I wouldn't want it if it came easy. I don't see the value in that. I want to look back at the time and the energy I put into a "project" and be proud of the time and the energy I put into it.

The people I love, and you know who are, love me. Not because I can give them something, not because I failed and now I can be accepted, but because they just love. Purely, innocently, and real. There is no other love I want. I am not perfect and I do not claim to be. And I see nothing wrong with being proud of what I have accomplished thus far. Because, guess what, I-AM-NOT-DONE!!!! So you can come with me, or you can stay where you are and wish you were there. Either way I choose to change the world one person at a time, STARTING with me.

I am a woman and I am pissed HEAR ME ROAR!!!...LOL

Relax

As I continue on my journey to a more fit life I have come to some certain realizations. I can get pretty uptight once in a while, I know, shocking... If I want something bad enough, I have a tendency to obsess about it. I practically beat it into submission. This does not bode well for anyone, especially my husband. He gets the brunt of it. Or my kids they get a pretty big load as well. And me, I get the most!

I had a lovely conversation with Kelcey the other night. I was in one of my ranting moments. By now you know I'm running a business, if you don't... scroll down. Things were not going as I had imagined and because I obsess, this made me rather ornery. My house was a pig sty, my children were fighting, Kelcey wasn't home yet, and I had a training I wanted to attend. So I erupted. Blah, Blah, you, Blah, Blah, you, you! I can be very good at playing the victim. I put the children to bed, and Kelcey finally said, "I love it when you're soooo happy when I get home!" Me..."ROOOOAAAARRRR!" 

Now I truly married correctly:) I married a man with an EXTREME amount of patience, and who reads between the lines rather well. He lets me carry on, and gush negativity like Niagra Falls, and he waits, and he listens. He knows that a sparring match will not fix anything and will only add fuel to an already blazing fire. After I vented all my frustration we then began to talk.

It has taken me 2 days to fully grasp our conversation. I was thinking back to when I got a little NUTS with my exercising, and tracking my eating. I wanted that body. I wanted it so bad I was obsessing. I was doing double workouts on top of my hard workouts. I was counting calories. And I was paranoid about everything I put in my mouth. And naturally I was unhappy. Who could be happy living like that? So then I did the opposite, I started eating anything, and everything I wanted. I was kind of careful, but a full plate of brownies was not beyond me. I fell off the wagon for a while. And surprise, surprise, I put on 5 lbs. Thank heavens I was still exercising because it would have been more otherwise. And then one day I had an AH-HA moment. I realized that stressing about food was killing me, and not thinking about it at all was killing me. I needed balance. I began to eat portions. And I kept it simple. And I stopped STRESSING! And guess what happened? I lost 10 lbs! I lost the 5 I put on and the 5 I had been trying to lose for almost a year. I wasn't hungry, I was satisified. I wasn't unhappy, I was thrilled. Fitness is a journey, not a destination! Did you get that? FITNESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION!!! I am not done. I may have lost those 10 lbs., but I can get stronger, I can be better cardiovascularly(is that a word?) So I now have "INSANITY" in my possession:) This will drive me to Dig Deep, and keep pushing when everything screams STOP!!! What appropriate timing. I have been finding so many parallels between fitness and life, it's a little uncanny, but awesome! 

Anyway so back to my story...my conversation with Kelcey revolved around my business, which is my passion. This is a journey not a destination. I may not get there today, or tomorrow, but I am getting there. It doesn't matter if it takes me longer than someone else because I am not someone else. It just matters that I get there. I set the standards, and I get to learn these incredible lessons along the way.  I tell you what, I have an incredible story to tell when this is all said and done. Kelcey has been telling me all along, and I finally shut-up long enough to hear it. I can CHOOSE to stress about it and get obsessed and have nothing change, OR I can CHOOSE to enjoy the ride, and finally see those last few "pounds" go where they were meant to go. I am choosing to enjoy the ride. I love fitness, I love exercise, I love Beachbody, and I love talking about it. Does anything else matter? It seems so simple really. Just let it happen...relax...

When Dreams Become Realized

I have discovered something about myself on my journey to a more fit life. That ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! This is me, stretch marks and all. And you know what... I'm okay with that:) I am okay that every inch of me is flawed. I never thought I would say that.

I have been working really hard for a long time, but it is only recently I have been able to put it ALL together. I realized that life is not a perfect science. It's not about depriving yourself, or overdoing, or underdoing things. If I could express what is going on inside me... Today I took a picture, not realizing what it would look like, but when I saw what I looked like I cried WITH JOY! I have been working so hard in all aspects of my life. I have started a business that has had me in tears, and has had me laughing, and excited, and crazy. I exercise because I love the way it makes me feel. I am doing this business because I know I have more to give then what I've been giving. I have made some amazing friends that I wouldn't have made without Beachbody. I think these last few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster. What am I trying to say? I hate when I can't get my thoughts down.

I guess what I'm saying is I love what I'm experiencing right now. This isn't necessarily about losing weight, or getting great abs, or being able to run 50 miles. Getting fit has taught me that dreams are possible. That I can do anything! That we all can do anything! That everything I've always had on a pedestal can be realized. That if I am putting my priorities in order that I am blessed. That challenges in life are so worth it even when they feel ridiculously hopeless.

I love Beachbody for giving that to me. And for showing me that anyone can do it, even me! I don't want to sound like a commercial, but I just wanted to tell you that this journey I'm on is incredible. I am making my goals happen, and so far I am thrilled with the results:)

So far my dream wall is working on me, while I'm working on it. Amazing...

What to blog about?

Okay so I have some time to kill, it doesn't happen very often, so I figure why not right down some random thoughts and maybe just maybe I will inspire the masses with my jibberish:) I'm sure it's not likely, but it's worth a shot. Perhaps some wandering reader will find me so inspiring they will want to pay me a million dollars to publish my thoughts. I mean my thoughts have to be worth at least a million, right? Or maybe not, but a gals gotta dream. Which brings me to my thoughts as a child. I love to sing, it kinda runs in the family. My mom always had a made up song she put together from taking a bath and how we wash our bodies, to cleaning our rooms, or whatever, they just came out. I'm proud to say I carry on the tradition and my kids love it. I find Tanner and Keira doing the same thing. Sometimes Keira even makes up her own words.  I love it...so where was I, oh yes, I loved to sing as a child. I always thought I was good at it too, so good that I figured if I just walked around singing some recording artist would snatch me up right away and I would make millions. I guess the kid in me will never die. I still think I'm worth millions, maybe not my singing talent, but something else for sure.

Ah another thought. Kelcey and I returned home from our adventure in Lava Hot Springs. It's just this small little town, but it was very fun. We went tubing down the river, and enjoyed the little pockets of warm water gushing out on the side. However, the river itself was shockingly cold. And a word of warning, when you go over the rapids on a tube, lift your bum up in the air or you may get smacked by an angry rock, I still have a tender spot. We then enjoyed their very large pool, the water slides, and the platforms. I'm a very daring individual, at least I thought I was. Being a mother has kind of settled that part a little. Of course, I couldn't just leave the tallest platform just standing there taunting me, so Kelcey and I made our way up. We had to do it at least once or forever be doomed as chickens. Now I've jumped off a platform like this before, so I don't know why I was suddenly so nervous, but I was.  I looked down and my stomach got all jittery. Kelcey went first, yes I hang my head in shame. Then it was my turn. I took a leap and I fell for at least 5 MINUTES. Holy cow, I don't remember it ever being that long of a fall before. Just so you know, you have to sign a waver before they will even allow you to climb the stairs. At any rate, obviously, I survived and yes I would definitely do it again. However, my once life long dream of sky diving, has dropped to the bottom two:) 

And now for my final thought of the evening...children's bed time. It is the most glorious and celebrated part of the day. It is the moment of true bliss. I think God gave us the need to sleep just so we wouldn't harm our children. Can you imagine a world with no naps, and no bed time? That would be hell. And a very valid reason to do everything possible to make sure you make it to heaven. 

Small and Simple Things

I know I'm on a roll here with all my blogging lately, but I had to share a very profound and sweet moment. First, I need to preface the wonderful moment.

You all know that I have a massive amount of goals I have been setting, what can I say I like to shoot for the moon. Well, among those goals was one to read my scriptures at least 3 times a week, just so I could create a habit. I also have committed to do a family home evening every week. Well this weeks family home evening was to introduce the importance of work and how it blesses our lives. I created chore charts and behavior charts for the kids to emphasize rewards vs. the scare tactic, which is something I've been using way too much. For those of you who don't know, "the scare tactic" is not very effective. Now that brings me to another one of my goals, which is Be slow to anger.

Here's my chore and behavior charts

Now we've decided that they get 129 points a week, these points include behavior and chores. If they get 95% of those points or higher they receive a $1 at the end of the week. The lower the points, the lower the percentage, and then the lower the money. For example, if they do 50% they get $.50, etc. Now after paying their tithing they can choose to spend the money they earn right away, or they can save it to buy something REALLY cool! It's up to them. You'll notice their names above the charts with numbers. To encourage earning 100%, after going over their charts before bed, if they do 100% of their chores, and earn 100% behavior points they receive a sticker for the day. After earning 10 stickers they get to pick a prize out of the prize bucket. Prizes include things like a pack of gum, fruit snacks, granola bar, a special date with mom or dad, a play date with a special friend, etc.

Well, today after going over the chore chart and giving them a chance to take care of what needed to be taken care of, Keira did not earn 100% today. She kicked Tanner in the face earlier, which was a direct violation to the "Be nice to your siblings" rule. And she did not make her bed. After we read scriptures and said prayers Keira was upset that she didn't earn a sticker. Tanner, bless his sweet little heart, offered to make Keira's bed with her. So we let them, and he did it with such compassion and love writing about it puts tears in my eyes. But you see, she still was missing an X because she kicked Tanner. Earlier we had resolved it and she said she was sorry. Tanner again with such tenderness told me "It's okay Mommy Keira didn't kick me that hard." I said yes, but she kicked you and that's not okay. He then said, "Mom I forgive her." I wrapped my arms around my little boy and told him how proud I was of him, and that he is such a great example. I said that if he felt it was okay for her to get an X on the "Be nice to siblings" square, we would do it. Of course, he agreed. This opened up the opportunity to talk about forgiveness and repentance.

I'm gonna get a little spiritually serious here, but I think I need to say it. Since I have written down my goals it has served as a reminder of the things that are most important in my life. I wake up to them every morning and know what efforts I need to make to make them happen. I have been reading my scriptures every day so far, and we have been having family scripture every night before bed. I want to testify to you of the power of the spirit and the blessing it has been to me personally. I am a strong-willed individual. I'm not one to back down from a fight, or a confrontation. I am loud and I get angry, but these last few weeks I have been a different person. I have been praying diligently that I can have more compassion, and that I can be slow to anger, especially with my children. And so far my prayers have been answered. Everything that I have done with my kids has been pure inspiration. These things I have shared were not my ideas I can assure you. Heavenly Father has had His hand in everything I have done. My world is changing. My attitude is changing and I hope it continues. I am in no way perfect, and I am learning, but I am truly grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that has heard my prayers and has allowed me to realize what I am worth. He cares enough about me to be there in my time of need, and to allow me to realize that this is just the beginning of what can be! To be as a little child, to be meek, humble, and full of love... My son has taught me a huge lesson today and has given new meaning to, "By small and simple things great things shall come to pass." I am so grateful for my children, and that I have been trusted to raise them.

IT'S HERE!!!!!

Okay I told you I would let you know when this thing came out and it's FINALLY here!!!! I want it, I want it, I want it. Now this is extreme so beginner's beware. However, if you are looking for a good place to start, so you can be ready to sweat like this, I have plenty of great suggestions. 

I know you are all aware of how much I love Beachbody, but let me tell you why. I am an athlete, as most of you know, and I love not only accomplishing goals, but surpassing them. When I was in high school I played something every day, minus Sunday of course. It was a way for me to have the time of my life, vent frustration, which I still have a lot of, and feel good about myself. I am very competitive in EVERYTHING so I need a good outlet for all this pent up energy.  Fast forward to college and my outlet diminished, so I had to find some other way to vent, which didn't always bode well for roommates (I'm kind of feisty). Then add marriage and kids to the mix and I suddenly put everyone else ahead of me, which just intensified the feistiness. I was slowly getting out of shape, and I could barely run the basketball court one time without huffing and puffing. This was depressing to me. Who was I? I used to run the length of the soccer field for 80 minutes and still have energy to spare. I know, I know, quit living in the past. However, it wasn't the past I wanted. I wanted to feel good again. I don't know if any of you have felt what it is like to run and run and it doesn't feel painful or hard, it just feels good. That's what I wanted. Needless to say I was ready for a change. So Beachbody came into my life because I needed it, AND wanted it. And it has been sweet. In my opinion, there is no other company doing what Beachbody is. They are giving to the public videos like P90X, Chalean Extreme, and Insanity. These are work outs professional athletes do and it's available for us, TO DO IN OUR HOMES, or with friends. There are also videos that prepare you for the EXTREME ones because you know you have to start somewhere. I find that to be incredible. Not to mention you aren't left to your own will power. You can become a member for free and ask for advice when things get difficult. The diet part for me, is the thing I struggle with the MOST. I could work out forever, but when it comes to eating...I need all the help I can get. Okay so you know I love it and why. There's just one more thing...Beachbody has an opportunity that I am just bubbling over about, especially lately. I want to share with the world. So don't be surprised if I call you about it. All I ask is that you take a look. If that's all that comes from it I know I've done my part.

Beachbody has changed me, and I am passionate about it. I realize it's not for everyone, but I'm so tired of worrying about what others think. Because honestly I don't think anyone would fault me for sharing what I love, and what I think is amazing. I want people to have what I have and feel what I feel. I want to make a difference, and this is the way I'm gonna do it because it made a difference for me. 

Are the things you're doing right now to lose weight or get fit working for you? If the answer is no, then what is stopping you from making the change and trying something that works? I have thousands of transformations stories at my finger tips if you want the proof. Money is irrelevant because if you want something bad enough you find a way to get it. And if time is the issue, there is a perfect program you can do in 10 minutes. And if the answer is yes, could your fitness improve, could your eating improve? YES there is always room for improvement. So I challenge you to see what you're made of. Can you make the change? Because I guarantee if you do ANY of these programs, and you commit, you will see things happen for you that you didn't think were possible. Look at my online store www.teambeachbody.com/fit2bhappy and click on the shop tab, and see if anything looks interesting. If you want to know more about the opportunity email me at fit2bhappy@ymail.com. Just look I DARE YOU:)

Dreams

It has been a while since my last post. And since I have had a few reminders that I should do it more often, I decided now is as good a time as any, though a nap is calling my name. It's so very quiet in my home today, so I think I will take this blessing and roll with it.

I've had a few things on my mind that I would like to share. There is a quote from the book, "The Last Lecture" (if you have not read it, I highly recommend that you do). He says,"It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. Lead your life the right way, and the dreams will come to you." So my thoughts have drifted to dreaming. There are some things that I have dreamed of that have come into my life, and others that still wait their turn, but I am ALWAYS dreaming. In the last few weeks I have had some epiphanies (did I spell that right?) I love it when these moments come. It's like all of a sudden something that has been said to me over and over and over, FINALLY makes sense. I feel this way in the gospel all the time. 

About 2 weeks ago I was able to teach gospel doctrine. I was thrilled! I would LOVE to have this calling, by the way, or even Relief Society teacher. It gives me an excuse to actually study the scriptures, something I must admit I don't take advantage of nearly enough. And I would be with adults, something I would also like to take more advantage of. I was nervous, of course, and said a prayer every few minutes in sacrament meeting. As I stood giving the lesson though I felt the spirit very profoundly. I know I learned sooooo much more than those I was teaching, another blessing.  I have thought about that particular lesson, well about Zion's camp in particular. These were men who traveled for the purpose to help those who were being persecuted in Jackson County, Missouri. They were prepared for battle and traveled 1,000 miles. They were promised if they did the Lord's will and stayed faithful, not a hair on their heads would be hurt. What a promise, right?! So they took the challenge with gusto, singing praises and so on, but as they traveled things started to become very difficult, and some of the men complained and were angry because of the challenges. Because of this they were chastened by the Lord, and some men lost their lives. And when they arrived just outside of Jackson County, the Lord reveals to Joseph Smith that they would not be going to battle and that they should return home. The true reason for taking this journey was to find those who had FAITH and had a true, and honest desire to do the Lord's will. Five months after the camp was disbanded, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Quorum of the Seventy were organized. Nine of the Twelve Apostles and ALL 70 members of the Quorum of the Seventy had served in Zion's Camp. I know Heavenly Father knew who would be faithful and who would not, but the men who took this journey did not know where they stood until they took the journey. They faced this trial for their own good, to discover who they were. Heavenly Father already knows who we are. It is not Him who needs to know...  

Challenges have a very real and necessary purpose, most times we do not understand until it is all said and done. This is something I have been taught my whole life, and yet a deeper understanding of this concept has touched my life is such a simple way. 

I am a mother and I struggle very much with this particular challenge, but I am not the same mother I was 5 years ago, thank heavens. I am discovering who "I" am. I am also a dreamer and as I am taking steps to make my dreams a reality, I realize they will not come without some set backs, and thats okay. It is the set backs that allow me to see what I'm made of. I like that Heavenly Father thinks more of my potential than I do. It gives me great comfort to know that He's on my side FOREVER. There is no better advocate. Without challenges the victories would not be nearly as sweet! 

 I've decided in my room I am going to create a dream/goal wall so I can see it every morning. Especially for those mornings when I forget who I am, and what I'm made of:) And I want to lead my life the right way, so the dreams come to me.

Okay, that was a very serious discussion. Next time perhaps a little lighter... sheesh:) 

Walking and Thinking

So it's summer and I have become a little more lazy than usual. My desire to exercise is on simmer, and the way I've been eating is not up to par. What is the deal?! I am still exercising at least 4 days a week, but I WAS doing 6. I think I'm getting bored. 

Yesterday, I decided to throw in something different than my usual routine. I went for a run. It was beautiful outside, and the perfect temperature. It felt great for about 10 minutes and then my blasted knees started to hurt again...GRRRRR! I hate that my body feels awesome when I run, but my knees start to object. So unfortunately I had to walk the rest of the way. I've never had knee issues before so it really stinks! But as I was walking I had time to think without interruption! This is something I need to make a habit of doing, oh and getting a bike is on my wish list now:) 

I was thinking about what I have accomplished thus far in my life, and also what I want to accomplish in the future. I can quite honestly say that the things I said I would be doing 10 years from now about 10 years ago, have happened, minus the bachelor degree, and the bustling career:). This makes me very optimistic for the future.  I do, however, have an Associates degree, and I am a full time Mother, so I figure that's halfway there, right? Because we all know mothering is bustling. I may not get paid for it, but I work my A%# off doing it! 

I know I do a lot of "venting" about being a mother, but I LOVE IT! I am the boss, which is really the only way for me. I don't like being bossed, so so far motherhood is the perfect career. I have some pretty irritating employees, but I continue to give them a description of their jobs and they do it with constant bickering, but the point is they DO IT! It's not all bad, though. They do some really great work, and they are the reason this company flourishes, so I don't mind giving credit where credit is due. They sometimes loathe their employer, but I know they appreciate boundries, otherwise they would have quit already. My Co-President is perfect. He keeps things in balance so when I lose my head, he always has a back-up. And I lose my head A LOT so we make a great team. Our company is growing so we plan on adding another employee sometime in the near future.  We are still accepting applications, which is my favorite part, so there's no hurry at this point. I am getting tired of the constant training, though. They keep me up half the night with all their "questions." I sometimes wish they would be a little more self-reliant, but as a good employer I see to all their needs, no matter what they are. I know when the training is finished they will become amazing CEO's. That is the whole reason why I started this company at such a young age. I planned on early retirement.

Yes I am happy. And I am still exercising , so I shouldn't be so concerned. I just desire a little change up now and again. And I think walking and thinking early in the morning is a good combination. I think I'll make it a habit, until I get my bike:) Then I'll ride and think, which sounds wonderful. 

I've also been dabbling with the idea of writing a book. I really enjoy writing, always have. It's a hobby I've let slide, but now I want to get back to it, and see what my imagination can come up with. Just that very idea is thrilling and exciting. We shall see. Until next time...

Disneyland...WHEW!!! WHAT A TRIP!

As you can see, we had the time of our lives. I'm so glad we got to share part with Kelly and Megan, and part with Jim and Emily. I look forward to another trip next year...hopefully:) We took so many pictures it was hard to pick which ones to post, so I guess this will have to do.

Motherhood

I love my kids, I really do. I'm so lucky to be a mother, I know I should count my blessings. In the grand design of life did we REALLY know what we were getting ourselves into? When God told Adam and Eve, multiply and replenish the earth, do you think Eve knew what that would mean?! Being a mother has got to be the hardest job in the history of the universe!!!

Let's take pregnancy for example. The moment of conception is so exciting especially for the new mother. The dreams of sweet sleeping babies, and cuddling, and those cute little outfits, and wondering what it will feel like to have something moving around inside you. Then suddenly you find yourself rushing to the bathroom sprawled out on the floor wondering when this alien sickness will finally STOP!!! Screaming PLEASE, PLEASE, NOT AGAIN, I CAN'T PUKE AGAIN!!! It's about the 5th or 6th month where you feel somewhat normal, other than the small bulge that is beginning to form, at least now you can feel movement. But you suddenly have to deal with strangers continually groping your belly as if it became public property. Then comes the 7th month, where your feet are swelling, and it is becoming harder and harder to sleep at night, and the baby has now become a professional WWF wrestler, finding a perfectly comfortable postion directly under your ribs, or nestled deeply into your, oh-so-comfortable, pelvic bone. The feeling of euphoria is suddenly becoming a lot more dim with each passing day. However, your optimism for motherhood has not diminished quite yet. It will be so wonderful holding such a quiet, sweet smelling, lovable sleeping child in your arms. It won't be long now so you begin the count down. But as you count down it seems that the due date gets further and further away. And nights get longer and longer, and you swear an oath that if this baby does not get out of you soon, you will reach up there yourself and pull it out with your bare hands!!!! Everyone tells you that the birth is magical and wonderful until you feel the seering pain of your first contraction, screaming "What the HELL is this!!!!" You know if you have another one you will surely die, and yet you somehow survive each one, but the pain is beyond excruciating, and they hurt just as bad going up as they do going down. And seriously where is the guy with the drugs?! Give me the DRUGS NOW!!! Once the anesthesiologist finally arrives and the numbness finally kicks in you feel like you can perhaps enjoy the moment. Until you are ready to push. PUSH!!!! They scream. So you bare down and push, and your head literally feels like it will pop off as it turns a bright cherry red. PUSH!!!! They scream, and you push again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Where is the baby, and why is it taking so long? Then finally, this small, slimy, white coated, baby is here, and you begin to feel that bit of magic that everyone talked about. You are exhausted, but that sweet little thing looks up at you, and you know they know exactly who you are. And a love unlike anything you have ever felt surrounds you like a warm blanket. This sweet, innocent child that you and your husband created is finally safe and in your arms. Even with all that you endured for 9 months, it all seems so worth it. Life is wonderful! Until you get home...

This is the real test. They don't come with manuals, and if you nurse, you become a cow, and your once, tone tummy, is now covered in stretch marks, and will never be the same, but it's okay you move forward like a brave soldier, and read every book you can on "HOW TO GET YOUR BABY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!" I know they said they wake up through the night but you never imagined it would be like this! And all the while your loving husband, with whom you created this little non-sleeping monster (whatever happened to your dream of the sweet sleeping child) sleeps right through the crying, and diaper changing, and crying, and diaper changing, waking up like a fresh daisy, while you, yes the alien, with bags under your eyes, and Madoosa hair, and sweat pants because nothing else will fit, are barely able to function any longer because you had NO IDEA you would ever be this tired! Can a human being survive on such little sleep, but somehow you pull through, despite the zombie-like state you're in.

If you manage to make it through the infant stage still euphoric I congratulate you on your immaculate abilities because every mother who ever lived is either envious of you, or hates you with everything that she can muster:)

Now we reach the wonderful 2-3 year old stage. This is a magical time where you discover that reasoning skills are something that develop much later in life, if ever, I'm not sure they actually develop at all. I could be wrong here, but someone with teenagers will have to solve this mystery for us. If you were blessed with a boy you know that WWF wrestler that was comfortably nestled in your uterus was this charming little boy who has defined TROUBLE as his middle name. He decides that wandering off is perfectly okay, while mom and dad frantically look for him up and down streets. For Mom the tears are flowing and Dad is running from house to house, while the little trouble-maker without a care in the world toddles out of a neighbors back yard like all is well. Mom grabs him and sobs into his shoulder soooo grateful that he is okay. To only find herself yelling at him a few minutes later for picking the flowers out of the flower bed.

If you had a girl there is a whole new set of situations you never would have thought you had to prepare for. The clothes have to be skirts, the hair must be done in the way which has been instructed, with the exact comb indicated in section 3 of "How to Avoid a Major Tantrum With a 3-year-old Little Girl," and don't even think about picking out the wrong shoes! You ask yourself was I like this to my mother? Of course not, I know I was a perfect angel:) There's no way I did this!!! There is a whole new level of tantrum with little girls that could only have been written about in novels, there is no way they could be real, until you experience it first hand. Those cute little outfits you dress her in are only a cover of what can come from these mischevious monsters. Yes, yes they are sweet, but that's how they reel you in.

And then if you're lucky you have a child that just takes it in. He loves everyone, and everything, at all times. He's the reason you keep your sanity when you feel you might lose it. You see God sends us these angels at random times. And sometimes they are disguised as friends to your monsters, or they may be your actual child either way it's because He knows we have to have some kind of break or the world will crash down around us.

Yes I am a Mother, and I am grateful for it, but I have to be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Had I known I may not have taken on the challenge. How grateful I am I didn't know! It doesn't matter how many sleepless nights, or how many stretch marks I have on my body, or how many tantrums I face in a day, I love my job, even when I hate my job. Yes, Mothers it is tough, but that's why God had women do it. So even on those hard days when you want to pack it in remember why you did it in the first place, and be grateful YOUR Mother did it for you!

"INSANITY"

This is coming out this summer and I cannot wait to get it! I thought P90X was hard, but this looks literally insane. If you want to test your physical limits let me know. Visit my website at www.teambeachbody.com/fit2bhappy, or email me at fit2bhappy@beachbodycoach.com

The Best Drink You'll Have All Day

What Beachbody Can do For You!!!

GRRRRR!!!!! HERE COMES MY RANT!

I'm a literally losing it! I'm to the point where I just want to stand here and scream at the top of my lungs for 10 minutes straight, then maybe I'll feel better. 3 is the new HELL!!!! I have a little girl that finds it absolutely necessary to whine from the moment she is awake to the moment she goes to bed. Everything that comes out of her mouth is WHIIIIIINNNNE! about something.

I'm in the car taking Tanner to school and she spots her necklace. Suddenly it must be hers at that moment and if she doesn't get it she will DIE!!!!

Keira- "I want it. I want it. I want it!"
Mom- "I'm driving Keira, I can't get it right now."
Keira- SCREAM-CRY, CRY-SCREAM, SCREAM-CRY "I WANT MY NECKLACE!"
Mom- "If you don't knock it off, you will be going to your room when we get home"
Keira- SCREAM-CRY, SCREAM-CRY, SCREAM-CRY. "I WANT MY NECKLACE!"
Mom- "I will get it for you when we get home!"
Keira- "NO!!!!!!! I WANT MY NECKLACE!"
Mom- "I KNOWWWWWW! STOP IT NOW!"
Keira- "I WANT MY NECKLACE!"
Mom- "IF YOU DON'T KNOCK IT OFF, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!!"
Keira- "I WANT MY NECKLACE!!!! I WANT IT NOW!"
Mom- "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

We arrive home. Little girl gets out of the car with no interest whatsoever in her necklace that was the source of her death 3 seconds earlier!

I'm am going out of my mind. This goes on all day! Tina, how the heck do you deal with 4 girls in your home? You should receive the medal of honor!

I've decided I am not cut out for this. My fuse is way too short, and I end up throwing an adult tantrum, it doesn't solve anything, but I really don't know what else to do.

It doesn't end there though, my house looks like it threw up! There are toys and shoes and clothes scattered about the floor, IN EVERY ROOM I might add. My laundry is folded but no where near close to being put away. Where did all these clothes come from? I mean, drawers are full and I have piles of clean clothes. Are they breading?

It's baseball season so the hubs is not around to pick up the slack, and I can't get control of myself or my kids. "Clean your room," I ask. "It's too hard, I can't do it by myself," their inevitable reply. "Do it anyway!" "NOOOO!!!! WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE!" Can someone please tell me when the whining ends. There is nothing that gets under my skin faster than that. And how on earth do I get everything done? I am so overwhelmed I just want to sit down and sob.

There are about a million things I NEED to do, that are soooooo important (I'm dripping with sarcasm here).

>Keep the house clean
>Eat healthy, oh but also make sure your kids eat healthy too, but could you make it taste unhealthy so they will eat it, but make sure it has all vitamins, minerals, vegetables, fruits, and calcium so they can have strong bones, and teeth, and bodies.
>Don't forget to floss:)
>Exercise most days of the week, and make sure kids exercise too, make sure they don't watch too much TV, read to them, and play with them, and build their self-esteem, make sure you don't yell because that's bad, but discipline and follow through, and put them on the naughty chair, but make sure they sit there, and if they don't, keep putting them on the naughty chair until they do.
>Get organized
>Save enough money to survive on for 6 months
>Invest
>Start a business because that's the only way you'll ever make REAL money!
>Don't go on vacation unless you can afford it, and not until you have 6 months of income saved!
>Get food storage
>Have family home evening
>Read scriptures together
>Pray together
>Magnify your 20 callings
>Go to the temple
>Be involved and participate in church activities
>Visiting teaching
>Get up with the children at night and be happy about it
>Sex (need I say more?)
>You're not too busy, could you do me a favor? After all you're only a stay-at-home mom
>Let's do such and such activity this day because it would be better for me!!! BECAUSE MY SCHEDULE DOESN'T MATTER!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am human and I am tired, and I just.... I just..... I just.....Can someone just say it's okay.That everything will be okay, that I will be okay, that motherhood becomes sweet at some point? I don't love this. It's really hard to enjoy the sweet moments when they are masked by the insane ones. I want to feel normal. I want to get in the car and go without shuffling kids in and out. I want to come home and the house is clean, and the kids are in bed, and I can just be in the moment and feel completely content and satisfied.......

Gratitude

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you were so grateful for everything you have you weren't sure how to express it. I think of all the things I have, or have been given, or all the times friends or family have done something wonderful for me, or a time where someone has said something that came at the perfect time, or a song in primary that made my spirit sing, or a hug from my kids, or a giggle from my Kody, or a kiss from my husband, or the peace I feel in the temple, or an answer to prayer. I cannot express how grateful I am for everything.

Heavenly Father has been so very present in my life lately. There is nothing really significant that has happened to bring about my thoughts today, but I think that's where the tiny miracles come in. I go through life sometimes on auto pilot. I have so many goals, and so many things I want to accomplish, I have a tendency to forget where blessings come from. I have such an admiration for the family, and friends I have.

My parents have taught me the power of DREAMING. Without a dream you don't have a road to travel, or a goal to go after, and there is no dream that is too big, or too small. It is your dream go for it, it may just become a reality.

Robyn, I love reading your blogs. They are an inspiration, they make motherhood very real, and very comical, something we all need if we are going to get through this raising children business. I love your fitness tips and I'm so glad we share an eternal struggle with sugar. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Jim, I don't know why I don't talk to you more often. You have inspired me to push through the set backs and to go after what I want. You are one of the most giving and thoughtful people I know. I know I can come to you for anything and you would do it, no questions asked.

Kelly, how you do the things you do is absolutely amazing. If you haven't read Kelly's blog I suggest you take a look. It's quite fascinating, funny, and adventurous. You were ment to be a cop I just know it, and possibly a writer, with a book entitled "The Day and the Life of Your Not So Average Cop."

To everyone I love. Thank you for being in my life! For making it worth living, and for being my inspiration. I want to tell all of you individually how great you are, it would take a while. I am so grateful for the gospel, and for this life. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, and that He knows us individually. Life is definitely ment to be enjoyed, not just endured. Was that President Hinckley who said that? I don't know. Here's to the good life:)

My Nemesis!

So I have been working my butt off lately!!!! And I gotta say I was exhausted. I have been trying so desperately hard to get the oh-so-coveted six pack! So every calorie has been monitored before I put it to my lips. I did this for about 2 weeks straight. But I gotta say I was STARVING!!!! I know, I know, eat then right. Well I was trying to create a calorie deficit of about 500 calories in order to lose one pound of body fat a week, well because I have been working out so HARD, my body was screaming at me "I'm Hungry, you need more calories!" And of course, because I think I am more strong-willed than my body (HAHAHA) and that I don't really NEED more calories because it's just in my head, I denied it thinking... "I gotta get the abs, I gotta get the abs!" Despite the fact that I know if you don't get enough calories it does the opposite. Well my body answered back and gave me a horrible cold with body aches and forced me to slow down. I then took a long hard look at myself and realized, the body gives us signals for a reason. When it's hungry you feed it. When it's tired you rest it. And when that little voice in your head Tells you you're a failure, you can tell it to go to HELL! Excuse the french, but honestly that little voice has been ruthless, lately. It would be so nice if I could applaud the victories and ignore the failures. I am definitely my own worse critic. Now for all of you rolling your eyes. I want to make one thing perfectly clear. I DON'T THINK I'M FAT! That is not what this is about. I, more than anything, just want to see if I can do it. I have had the six pack goal for a long time, and I'm sick of having it on my dream board and not making it a reality. I eat really good actually, but perhaps not enough, so I've upped the "good" calories because I've been bonking like crazy. My nemesis A.K.A. sugar or cryptonite stands between me and those abs and I don't know how to stop the cravings, and that one little piece of chocolate they tell you to eat and savor, is practically swallowed whole, and becomes a small mountain of little pieces of chocolate. So then I beat myself up, and the cycle starts all over the next day. The rationalization that I look fine and this one little piece of sugar won't kill me, and then the SUGAR MOUNTAIN UGHHHHH!!!! There is nothing more frustrating to me than to work-out sooo hard and burn a ton of calories and then ruin it with sugar. I'm so close to my goal. I need help. I am open to suggestions. I've done the once a week thing, but I just end up eating double the mountain, and I always have a few slip-ups during the week. Nighttime is the worst. I get munchy and I always want something sweet after dinner. I've tried brushing my teeth, drinking water, chewing gum, munching on vegetables (I mean vegetables....sugar, hmmm which one would you choose). What do I do?