Monday, March 23, 2009

My Nemesis!

So I have been working my butt off lately!!!! And I gotta say I was exhausted. I have been trying so desperately hard to get the oh-so-coveted six pack! So every calorie has been monitored before I put it to my lips. I did this for about 2 weeks straight. But I gotta say I was STARVING!!!! I know, I know, eat then right. Well I was trying to create a calorie deficit of about 500 calories in order to lose one pound of body fat a week, well because I have been working out so HARD, my body was screaming at me "I'm Hungry, you need more calories!" And of course, because I think I am more strong-willed than my body (HAHAHA) and that I don't really NEED more calories because it's just in my head, I denied it thinking... "I gotta get the abs, I gotta get the abs!" Despite the fact that I know if you don't get enough calories it does the opposite. Well my body answered back and gave me a horrible cold with body aches and forced me to slow down. I then took a long hard look at myself and realized, the body gives us signals for a reason. When it's hungry you feed it. When it's tired you rest it. And when that little voice in your head Tells you you're a failure, you can tell it to go to HELL! Excuse the french, but honestly that little voice has been ruthless, lately. It would be so nice if I could applaud the victories and ignore the failures. I am definitely my own worse critic. Now for all of you rolling your eyes. I want to make one thing perfectly clear. I DON'T THINK I'M FAT! That is not what this is about. I, more than anything, just want to see if I can do it. I have had the six pack goal for a long time, and I'm sick of having it on my dream board and not making it a reality. I eat really good actually, but perhaps not enough, so I've upped the "good" calories because I've been bonking like crazy. My nemesis A.K.A. sugar or cryptonite stands between me and those abs and I don't know how to stop the cravings, and that one little piece of chocolate they tell you to eat and savor, is practically swallowed whole, and becomes a small mountain of little pieces of chocolate. So then I beat myself up, and the cycle starts all over the next day. The rationalization that I look fine and this one little piece of sugar won't kill me, and then the SUGAR MOUNTAIN UGHHHHH!!!! There is nothing more frustrating to me than to work-out sooo hard and burn a ton of calories and then ruin it with sugar. I'm so close to my goal. I need help. I am open to suggestions. I've done the once a week thing, but I just end up eating double the mountain, and I always have a few slip-ups during the week. Nighttime is the worst. I get munchy and I always want something sweet after dinner. I've tried brushing my teeth, drinking water, chewing gum, munching on vegetables (I mean vegetables....sugar, hmmm which one would you choose). What do I do?