Thursday, March 18, 2010

Good News!

So now it's time to let the cat out of the bag. I am PREGNANT!!! I am 12 weeks as of this Saturday, which makes my due date October 2, 2010. I know many of you probably suspected, but now you have confirmation. I have been exhausted, but I'm happy to report that I have kept up my exercise routine. It is a little less intense, and usually is always followed up with a nap mid afternoon, but at least I can check it off my list. My diet however, is STILL a complete disaster. NOTHING sounds good, well actually that's not entirely true. Junk sounds And because I'm pregnant I feel entitled. Which is ridiculous because I always feel sick after. As for preparing meals, since it's baseball season, I'm tired, and Kelcey doesn't get home til late, I never feel like preparing ANYTHING. The kids have had ramen noodles, hot dogs, canned chicken noodle soup, bean burritos, frozen pizza:( I'm sad to say for the last 12 weeks their diets have been awful. I have eaten cold cereal, an apple and cottage cheese, bean burritos, pasta, etc. Basically anything that can be prepared quickly and with very little fuss. The worst part is I won't eat what I've been feeding the kids, but it's okay for them to eat it?!  It has not been pretty. This is so not like me. 

I know I'm pregnant and all that, but I feel like I'm in someone else's body. I start burning after one rep of whatever. I can barely do half the push-ups I was doing before, and my endurance is pathetic. It is very frustrating! That's pregnancy for ya I guess.

I am very excited about it though. And so are the kids. I'm a little freaked out on where to put 4 children, but I've got 9 months to stew about. Life is good, and it will only get better. I just gotta get through this first trimester...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Confessions and Epiphanies

So something you should probably know about me. I make a zillion goals and then I hit about 2 or 3. Which means that my once a week recipe, is more likely going to be whenever I get around to it or think about it. I have been a major slacker lately, which I have a perfectly good explanation for, but I'm not sharing until later. Now...

Some more things you should know. I go through slumps. Sometimes they are long and sometimes very brief. This one lately has been a long one. I've fallen off the wagon for 3 or 4 weeks. I LOVE FOOD! I always have. And I could probably eat anyone under the table, especially if the food is good. But the problem with this crappy eating lately, is that I'm not putting good quality food in my body. And I am feeling the difference. I'm more moody, tired, sluggish, and sloppy, plus I feel gross, and yet I still eat crappy. My workouts have been sub-par to say the least, and my motivation has gone down. It has started a rough cycle for me. Which has been followed by negative thoughts, attitude, and feelings. So my question is WHY? When I know that the food I've been eating has a direct effect on the way I feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually why do I continue to do it? I'm not a scientist, or a nutritionist so you can take what I say and do what you want with it, but I really think that this food I've been eating has been messing with my brain. I truly think it's addictive. For starters, I love the feeling of biting into an ice cream smothered brownie, and I will probably never stop eating them, and in the moment there is nothing better. It is heaven, but about an hour or two after I feel sluggish, and bloated. The same thing applies with eating a burger and fries. It tastes good at first, and in the moment it's blissful, but after I ALWAYS feel horrible...ALWAYS! I'm not talking about guilt either. I'm talking about physically. I just feel sick. And I find myself in a food coma, NOT a good place to be.

On the flip side, when I eat healthy foods. I ALWAYS feel amazing. I have energy. I feel happy, motivated, positive, excited about life, and I look forward to my workouts. I feel like I can do anything! 

Today was the last straw for me. I took the kids to a fast food restaurant today. I got a burger and then ate whatever the kids didn't, fries, chicken rings, corn dog. My kids wanted to play on the toys and I sat in my chair and watched them play. I was thinking to myself, I have no desire to move, or run around. I don't want to do anything but take a nap. What have I been doing the last several weeks? This is crazy!

To all of you that have stayed with me so far and my ramblings. Food is energy, life, health, vitality! Food is wholesome and good, delicious and enjoyable. Food is being with family, celebration, and fun. There is no reason why we can't indulge once in a while, but my only wish is that we feed our bodies wholesome foods more often than not. I am recommitting! It's back on the wagon for me. I'm getting out of this slump, and I am putting good food in my body so that when my kids play I want to play with them! I commit to having a treat when it suits me, but not more than is satisfying. I commit to being positive and happy! I commit to myself for the 3,000th time. Who's with me?!