Thursday, April 23, 2009


I'm a literally losing it! I'm to the point where I just want to stand here and scream at the top of my lungs for 10 minutes straight, then maybe I'll feel better. 3 is the new HELL!!!! I have a little girl that finds it absolutely necessary to whine from the moment she is awake to the moment she goes to bed. Everything that comes out of her mouth is WHIIIIIINNNNE! about something.

I'm in the car taking Tanner to school and she spots her necklace. Suddenly it must be hers at that moment and if she doesn't get it she will DIE!!!!

Keira- "I want it. I want it. I want it!"
Mom- "I'm driving Keira, I can't get it right now."
Mom- "If you don't knock it off, you will be going to your room when we get home"
Mom- "I will get it for you when we get home!"
Keira- "NO!!!!!!! I WANT MY NECKLACE!"

We arrive home. Little girl gets out of the car with no interest whatsoever in her necklace that was the source of her death 3 seconds earlier!

I'm am going out of my mind. This goes on all day! Tina, how the heck do you deal with 4 girls in your home? You should receive the medal of honor!

I've decided I am not cut out for this. My fuse is way too short, and I end up throwing an adult tantrum, it doesn't solve anything, but I really don't know what else to do.

It doesn't end there though, my house looks like it threw up! There are toys and shoes and clothes scattered about the floor, IN EVERY ROOM I might add. My laundry is folded but no where near close to being put away. Where did all these clothes come from? I mean, drawers are full and I have piles of clean clothes. Are they breading?

It's baseball season so the hubs is not around to pick up the slack, and I can't get control of myself or my kids. "Clean your room," I ask. "It's too hard, I can't do it by myself," their inevitable reply. "Do it anyway!" "NOOOO!!!! WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE!" Can someone please tell me when the whining ends. There is nothing that gets under my skin faster than that. And how on earth do I get everything done? I am so overwhelmed I just want to sit down and sob.

There are about a million things I NEED to do, that are soooooo important (I'm dripping with sarcasm here).

>Keep the house clean
>Eat healthy, oh but also make sure your kids eat healthy too, but could you make it taste unhealthy so they will eat it, but make sure it has all vitamins, minerals, vegetables, fruits, and calcium so they can have strong bones, and teeth, and bodies.
>Don't forget to floss:)
>Exercise most days of the week, and make sure kids exercise too, make sure they don't watch too much TV, read to them, and play with them, and build their self-esteem, make sure you don't yell because that's bad, but discipline and follow through, and put them on the naughty chair, but make sure they sit there, and if they don't, keep putting them on the naughty chair until they do.
>Get organized
>Save enough money to survive on for 6 months
>Start a business because that's the only way you'll ever make REAL money!
>Don't go on vacation unless you can afford it, and not until you have 6 months of income saved!
>Get food storage
>Have family home evening
>Read scriptures together
>Pray together
>Magnify your 20 callings
>Go to the temple
>Be involved and participate in church activities
>Visiting teaching
>Get up with the children at night and be happy about it
>Sex (need I say more?)
>You're not too busy, could you do me a favor? After all you're only a stay-at-home mom
>Let's do such and such activity this day because it would be better for me!!! BECAUSE MY SCHEDULE DOESN'T MATTER!


I am human and I am tired, and I just.... I just..... I just.....Can someone just say it's okay.That everything will be okay, that I will be okay, that motherhood becomes sweet at some point? I don't love this. It's really hard to enjoy the sweet moments when they are masked by the insane ones. I want to feel normal. I want to get in the car and go without shuffling kids in and out. I want to come home and the house is clean, and the kids are in bed, and I can just be in the moment and feel completely content and satisfied.......


  1. Oh, Lyenna! I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. At the same time, I really felt your pain!

    I don't have many real words of wisdom, because I am in no way the Mother of the year! But I will say that being a mom is hard. There are days that you just want to throw in the towel. One thing I have learned about the whining is that my kids tend to mimic the way I talk to them. I find that if I always sound annoyed when they ask me a question, for example, “mom?” “Whaaaat?,” (instead of “yes, Connor” or “What do you need bud?”), in return comes the whining and shouting. For me, I learned that if they are continually hearing unpleasant sounds from me, they then think this is an acceptable way to communicate. I too have had a hard time with the tone I use with my children. I don’t always remember to talk so pleasantly with them (especially if my patience is low.) But I try and stop myself before answering their calls so that I can control the way I talk.

    The other thing I have been trying to work on is following through. Many times, I have given them a consequence but I don’t follow through with what I warn. Like, “if you do that one more time, we aren’t going to the playgroup.” Well, I quite like playgroup, and I don’t want to miss out on visiting with my friends, so we go anyway. I learned real quick that kids tend to walk all over you when you don’t follow through with punishment. They don’t mind acting out because they know that nothing will probably happen.

    Three kids was a real adjustment for me too. I could feel my irritability rise real quick after Katelyn. If this is something you feel too, or if you feel like your mood swings are severe, I would suggest talking to your doctor, maybe at your yearly exam or something.

    Sorry to have gone on like this! I suppose I should have emailed you instead. I don’t know if any of my suggestions or examples will help, but it is worth a try. You have always been an example to me of someone who is very organized and well put together. This is probably just a moment when the stresses of life are bit stronger. There tends to be a little bit of stress when a person has 3 kids under the age of 5! Believe me, I have felt it too!

    Good luck, let me know if there is anything I can do! I wish I lived closer so we could exchange kids for some needed alone time!

  2. Lyenna,

    Most of us husbands do not understand what our wives are going through unless we are hit square between the eyes. Most things pass over our heads.


    (Don't really go to Hawaii, I'm only tring to make a point.)

    Tell him to take a day off, take care of the kids, and clean the house (Spotless). You will be back when he is all done. (Go somewhere fun, you should try skydiving)

    If he say's he can't do it, hire a baby sitter, a maid, and go to the spa on the 6 months of savings. He'll learn.

    Lyenna, you are normal. Smile and learn to laugh at yourself. I love you and I am always available if you want to vent by phone. (6 months of savings can pay for a 1 way ticket to Phoenix too ;)

    I love you.



    Don't tell Megan about the Hawaii thing.

  3. I love how completely polar opposite this post is to your last one - that totally made me chuckle -but only because I've been there - that's how motherhood is - many days are like the one described here, and sometimes when you're lucky, days are like the "grateful" one you described last week.

    Hang in there. It will all be ok.

  4. It sounds like you're spreading yourself too thin. Your time and energy are not worthless. If it means spending a little money to help keep your sanity then it is worth it. For example, hiring a maid even if it's once a month. Even just this once for a deep clean. Also having a girl from the ward come over for a little while so you can run errands by yourself. If it's going to stress you out too much but there's no way to make it easier, consider not doing it. I sometimes turn down things even though I know I COULD do it but I also know it would be too stressful. I feel guilty but life goes on and I'm happier. There will come a time in life when we will have more time, more patience, more energy and our kids will be more independent and rational. But until then relax and be happy, don't run faster than you have strength. This too shall pass.

    I remember it being hard when Brigham was in his first year. It helps that my boys are farther apart in age, but now that Brigham is older it is easier. Having said that, I know you want another baby eventually and I'm here to say that a 3 year gap, even 3 and a half years, is not bad at all!

    So cut out all the non-essentials, there will come a time when you can add them back in. None of those things matter compared to your sanity. There is no such thing as Supermom, only a mom who has found balance.
    Remember: moderation in all things!

  5. I'm sorry but I did laugh when I got to the end and realized that the title of your last post was "Gratitude". I love it! It just shows how up and down motherhood can be. I say give yourself a break. Don't do any of the have to do's today. Even if you have the kids with you, just don't worry about doing anything on your list today. Be a kid. Go ahead and throw a tantrum! You'll feel better tomorrow and your post will be about how fun it is to be a mom! Sure do love you!!!

    By the way....maybe Kelly should think about a second career as a marriage counselor!

  6. Ha ha! How did I miss this post? I love it! But only because I can TOTALLY relate! It's also the reason I'm NOT ready for child #3. I'm barely surviving 2!!! You need a break. I loved Kelly's comment. That's it! I'm going to Hawaii!!!! Hang in there!

  7. Chris is in school and gone even when he's here. I know exactly how you feel. My house looks like crap. I don't want to clean it so I can turn around and it looks like crap again 3 seconds later. It's exhausting.
    One of the things I've promised myself is that my kids will get a break when its their turn. I will make sure they get one as often as possible.
    You need a break. I need a break.
    Ashley is 5 and she still thinks she has to whine everything. She whines the most mundane things.
    "Did you really need to whine that? Couldn't you just say that you like french fries? You know, like a normal person?"
    Then she says it again, still whiny but not as bad. Good enough.
    If I could just get her to stop the whine I think my blood pressure would drop about 10-20 points.
    I read a great book called From Chaos to Calm. Its not a bad read. It helps, when I remember to use it.
    Sometimes I really wonder at myself that I thought I could have kids without taking any kind of class or anything to help beforehand. What was I thinking anyway?
    Another thing that really helps me, I don't keep any kind of list. Everyday I wake up and just handle that day as it comes at me. I don't keep mental lists either. The only things I keep track of are appointments.
    And I don't HAVE to do anything, even if its PC. I do what I do-the end. Anything that doesn't get done didn't need to get done.
    Sometimes the things that don't get done really drive Chris crazy, but he aint the one sitting here all day chasing kids is he?
    Anything that needed to get done, got done. Yeah? What? You really think you need to say something Chris? No? I didn't think so. Yeah, go study. Go put your nose in a book and stop looking at the laundry room. :)

  8. Lyenna, it danica! I love reading your blog! I know how you feel! IF you are willing let me take your kids for you, so you can clean, relax, shop, whatever you would like all by your lonesome! They would have so much fun! Just thought I would throw it out there!

  9. Thanks for all the support. SEE this is why I am sooooo grateful for family and friends. You guys are the best. Things are much better now. I just had to have a moment, well a few moments, but I'm feeling much better. I love you guys!!!!

  10. Ahaaa Lyenna,
    Loved to read the blog even though you told me about your day. It is but, a short moment. Ya what ever, I love your humor. You are doing a fabulous job and we love you soooo much. Love ya Mom

  11. Lyenna,

    When you have crazy moments, bring your kids to me! I understand having no husband around, but I don't have 3 kids. Yet, somehow I understand what you are talking about. I have a hard time with one kid whining, what will I ever do with more? Seriously, don't feel bad bringing them over if you are at a breaking point. Every mom needs a break! Don't feel alone during baseball season.

  12. Holy cow! i know Exactly how you feel! I wish we lived closer so we could help each other and hang out. Sometimes I really HATE my job! I want a day off (or two). Having someone take care of my kids is not a day off. I would like to go away and when I come back have the house clean and the children fed healthy and taken to activities and brushed teeth like I never left. Sometimes I really wonder why I chose this. You aren't alone in the way you feel, which is a relief to me because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one!

  13. P.S.
    That last comment was from Emily!

  14. Lyenna, I saw your blog through Laura's, and I have to say I love your ranting post. I feel guilty because I just have Izzy, and I feel like I can't get anything done, and the laundry...the piles clean laundry all over my basement floor - that I can't even get folded. I don't have any tips but would love to read the tips people are posting for you, because I need help as well. As soon as I clean my house, it just "throws up" again the following day.