I've had a few things on my mind that I would like to share. There is a quote from the book, "The Last Lecture" (if you have not read it, I highly recommend that you do). He says,"It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. Lead your life the right way, and the dreams will come to you." So my thoughts have drifted to dreaming. There are some things that I have dreamed of that have come into my life, and others that still wait their turn, but I am ALWAYS dreaming. In the last few weeks I have had some epiphanies (did I spell that right?) I love it when these moments come. It's like all of a sudden something that has been said to me over and over and over, FINALLY makes sense. I feel this way in the gospel all the time.
About 2 weeks ago I was able to teach gospel doctrine. I was thrilled! I would LOVE to have this calling, by the way, or even Relief Society teacher. It gives me an excuse to actually study the scriptures, something I must admit I don't take advantage of nearly enough. And I would be with adults, something I would also like to take more advantage of. I was nervous, of course, and said a prayer every few minutes in sacrament meeting. As I stood giving the lesson though I felt the spirit very profoundly. I know I learned sooooo much more than those I was teaching, another blessing. I have thought about that particular lesson, well about Zion's camp in particular. These were men who traveled for the purpose to help those who were being persecuted in Jackson County, Missouri. They were prepared for battle and traveled 1,000 miles. They were promised if they did the Lord's will and stayed faithful, not a hair on their heads would be hurt. What a promise, right?! So they took the challenge with gusto, singing praises and so on, but as they traveled things started to become very difficult, and some of the men complained and were angry because of the challenges. Because of this they were chastened by the Lord, and some men lost their lives. And when they arrived just outside of Jackson County, the Lord reveals to Joseph Smith that they would not be going to battle and that they should return home. The true reason for taking this journey was to find those who had FAITH and had a true, and honest desire to do the Lord's will. Five months after the camp was disbanded, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Quorum of the Seventy were organized. Nine of the Twelve Apostles and ALL 70 members of the Quorum of the Seventy had served in Zion's Camp. I know Heavenly Father knew who would be faithful and who would not, but the men who took this journey did not know where they stood until they took the journey. They faced this trial for their own good, to discover who they were. Heavenly Father already knows who we are. It is not Him who needs to know...
Challenges have a very real and necessary purpose, most times we do not understand until it is all said and done. This is something I have been taught my whole life, and yet a deeper understanding of this concept has touched my life is such a simple way.
I am a mother and I struggle very much with this particular challenge, but I am not the same mother I was 5 years ago, thank heavens. I am discovering who "I" am. I am also a dreamer and as I am taking steps to make my dreams a reality, I realize they will not come without some set backs, and thats okay. It is the set backs that allow me to see what I'm made of. I like that Heavenly Father thinks more of my potential than I do. It gives me great comfort to know that He's on my side FOREVER. There is no better advocate. Without challenges the victories would not be nearly as sweet!
I've decided in my room I am going to create a dream/goal wall so I can see it every morning. Especially for those mornings when I forget who I am, and what I'm made of:) And I want to lead my life the right way, so the dreams come to me.
Okay, that was a very serious discussion. Next time perhaps a little lighter... sheesh:)