Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Invincible...nope, definitely not. Undending willpower... I wish! Frustrated...all the time! Focus...well that all depends on what is being focused on.

I have now had a sugar binge for the last 3 days. Now I'm talking throw-it-all-to-the-wind-who-cares-how-many-calories-it-is kind of binge. Why do I confess this? Because I have no idea what my problem is! Sugar addiction is definitely a possibility. Stress could also be a factor, or maybe it's the relentless pressure I put on myself on a regular basis. Whatever the reason, I sometimes wonder how people do it. I read things all the time about how to enjoy Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas without the guilt. Tips always include things like eat Jolly Ranchers instead of a Snickers bar. Now who in this world enjoys Jolly Ranchers over a Snickers bar...Seriously?!

Now that brings me to another topic GUILT! What is it?
  • The state of having committed an offense
  • Remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense
  • Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes - whether justified or not - that he or she has violated a moral standard, and is responsible for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of

Remorse, I actually felt remorse for having committed a perceived offense. HA! Offense? Eating candy and treats is bad in my mind! It really is. Where in my world did this belief actually manifest itself? I go to bed disappointed in myself. I ask myself questions like: Why is it so hard for you to just not eat it? Why can't you be strong like so and so, or so and so? And then I really get harsh, You'll never look like that if you do this!!! And do you want to know what all of that creates, more guilt, and self-loathing, and then more binging. It's a vicious cycle and it's not worth it!

Now before you all get all theraputic and weird on me, I'm just making a point. I felt all those feelings, it's true. After eating mounds of candy tonight I really felt bad, and guilty, and full of remorse, especially knowing I "failed" again after I told myself I would be strong today. And then I read a story. It was a story Tanner picked for bed time. It could not have been a better pick for that moment. It was an easy read, something Tanner will probably be able to read by the end of kindergarten if not sooner, but it made a very good point. It was about a Panda bear who was happy, until he met all these other animals that told him he looked funny. So the Panda changed himself to look like each of the animals that said he looked funny. He made ears like an elephant, a tail like a lion, and a jacket like a zebra. Then he ran into another Panda and realized he was perfect just as he was. So simple, right?

The guilt comes from the gazillion advertisements about what the "perfect" body looks like. Or statements like "guilty pleasures" Why does a candy bar have to make me feel guilty? It's just a pleasure! Or it may even come from people that can do workout videos like INSANITY. I'm not gloating here, again I'm making a point...

We are all striving for OUR best. So this guilt stuff has got to stop! Be your best you. One step at a time, and one thing at a time. I will never be perfect at everything, but today I will be perfect at one thing. Today I woke up, read my scriptures, and said my morning prayers. I have not done that for an embarassingly Loonnnngggg time. But today I was perfect at it:) And it felt wonderful. By comparison my binge today means very little in the whole scheme of things. I just bet my panda looks just like yours, and I realized I am perfect just as I am...

Here's to OUR BEST life


  1. I totally agree!! I don't get too down on myself if I accomplished SOMETHING that day. If you've read my fitness blog at all, my goal has become to do something for myself once a day whether it's uplifting through physical, mental, or spiritual means. Maybe eventually I'll be able to do them all, but I am proud of the little steps!

  2. Enjoy the candy bar! In and of itself it is not bad. The danger would be in making it a habit and I think we all know you well enough to know that you would never turn it into a habit.
    It bothers me when people refer to food as "bad" or "evil". Food is food. I know which ones are more nutritious and I make my choices accordingly. Sometimes I choose and candy bar and I don't feel guilty because I made my choice and I stand by it! :)

  3. Lets just face it......chocolate always has and always will taste better than whole grains and veggies! You might not feel as good as you do, when you have eaten a nice healthy assortment of vegetables, but at least you had a few moments of heaven while eaten your scrumptious treat!

    Ya, I would never pick a jolly rancher over anything that involves chocolate!

  4. Amen sister!! I do the EXACT same things to myself, and drive Kev CRAZY! Give yourself a break, physically and mentally, and don't feel bad about it later. Life is supposed to be fun too!

    Lyenna, you are one of the cutest pandas I know!

  5. I love jolly ranchers.... but I love snickers and Milkyways so much more. Mmmmm Halloween candy. I'm gonna go get me another Reeses.

  6. I like me. It's other people what don't like me. I'm not a panda, I'm a weird lookin pink flamingo. ;)

  7. You've inspired me to be perfect at something today. Even if it's something little like taking time to read my child a couple extra books. Thanks Lyenna.