Saturday, March 6, 2010

Confessions and Epiphanies

So something you should probably know about me. I make a zillion goals and then I hit about 2 or 3. Which means that my once a week recipe, is more likely going to be whenever I get around to it or think about it. I have been a major slacker lately, which I have a perfectly good explanation for, but I'm not sharing until later. Now...

Some more things you should know. I go through slumps. Sometimes they are long and sometimes very brief. This one lately has been a long one. I've fallen off the wagon for 3 or 4 weeks. I LOVE FOOD! I always have. And I could probably eat anyone under the table, especially if the food is good. But the problem with this crappy eating lately, is that I'm not putting good quality food in my body. And I am feeling the difference. I'm more moody, tired, sluggish, and sloppy, plus I feel gross, and yet I still eat crappy. My workouts have been sub-par to say the least, and my motivation has gone down. It has started a rough cycle for me. Which has been followed by negative thoughts, attitude, and feelings. So my question is WHY? When I know that the food I've been eating has a direct effect on the way I feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually why do I continue to do it? I'm not a scientist, or a nutritionist so you can take what I say and do what you want with it, but I really think that this food I've been eating has been messing with my brain. I truly think it's addictive. For starters, I love the feeling of biting into an ice cream smothered brownie, and I will probably never stop eating them, and in the moment there is nothing better. It is heaven, but about an hour or two after I feel sluggish, and bloated. The same thing applies with eating a burger and fries. It tastes good at first, and in the moment it's blissful, but after I ALWAYS feel horrible...ALWAYS! I'm not talking about guilt either. I'm talking about physically. I just feel sick. And I find myself in a food coma, NOT a good place to be.

On the flip side, when I eat healthy foods. I ALWAYS feel amazing. I have energy. I feel happy, motivated, positive, excited about life, and I look forward to my workouts. I feel like I can do anything! 

Today was the last straw for me. I took the kids to a fast food restaurant today. I got a burger and then ate whatever the kids didn't, fries, chicken rings, corn dog. My kids wanted to play on the toys and I sat in my chair and watched them play. I was thinking to myself, I have no desire to move, or run around. I don't want to do anything but take a nap. What have I been doing the last several weeks? This is crazy!

To all of you that have stayed with me so far and my ramblings. Food is energy, life, health, vitality! Food is wholesome and good, delicious and enjoyable. Food is being with family, celebration, and fun. There is no reason why we can't indulge once in a while, but my only wish is that we feed our bodies wholesome foods more often than not. I am recommitting! It's back on the wagon for me. I'm getting out of this slump, and I am putting good food in my body so that when my kids play I want to play with them! I commit to having a treat when it suits me, but not more than is satisfying. I commit to being positive and happy! I commit to myself for the 3,000th time. Who's with me?!


  1. You and I are soul sisters...I have the SAME problem! Only my problem lately is Girl Scout Cookies!!!! Why did I buy 6 boxes when I knew I would be the one eating them? I seriously sneak them so that my kids don't see me eating them because I don't want THEM to eat a million cookies...just me! It has to stop!

  2. Ha ha just before I read this i had eaten a ton of popcorn, some red vines,left over stew, fries and skittles....My excuse is I'll run it off however I haven't been running in a few weeks and I feel tired so chances are I won't run it off. We must be family!!! I have got to be better about what I eat and learn how to stop! I'm with you!

  3. Soooo true you guys...does it ever get easier?! And robyn I always sneak treats, lol. Sometimes it's just because I don't want to share, and I want it all for myself. Crystal, if I had to exercise for everything I put in my mouth I would NEVER be done exercising hehehe. We are definitely related:)

  4. So thats why I feel like a big animal that has been tranquilized every day after lunch?

    Emily tried to get me to do a Liver cleanse which means no meat and I started gnawing on my leather chair at work.

    I hate feeling like that and know that I will feel better if I eat well. Then noon comes around and I am starving. It doesn't matter at that time about feeling good it's about tasting good in the fastest time possible. I am weak. No discipline. ~Sigh~

  5. I haven't gotten the whole stupid eating thing back in balance in forever, and now I'm looking at the "freshman 15" that I gained right along with Kevin :( I feel better when I read that I'm not the only one, but still feeling really depressed. Does the evil cycle ever end?

  6. Yeah I get back on the wagon about every Monday :) Cute hair, looks great short.