Thursday, September 10, 2009

I'm Okay

Blogging really is theraputic, as my very wise cousin Tina, put it. So here I am once again blogging for the 3rd time in a matter of days. I think the Roush emotions swing high and low on a day to day, and minute by minute basis.

I want to first give a shout out to the people who love me. THANK YOU!!! If it were not for you and your cheering, I would be a sad sort indeed. Life is quite an adventure...

This leads me to why I'm blogging. I have been humbled today. I was thinking about all the things I have been complaining about and I realize I have brought a lot of it on myself. I have learned, in a not so pleasant way, that what I think, manifests itself because I look for it to validate why I think that way. Okay let me explain. If I feel insecure about, lets say, what I'm wearing, I automatically feel like everyone is looking at me because I am uncomfortable in what I'm wearing. Then if a comment is made, even if it is innocent in it's intent, I have a tendency to manipulate it and turn it into something much bigger than what it was because of what my thought was originally. This could be said about a lot of things in life. If you believe people don't like you, you will find reasons why you're right. I am the master at this, and it is one of the reasons why I play the role of victim so well. So I apologize. I am still a work in progress, and I'm glad for that.

Beyond all that, I am grateful for this rocky journey I am on. It is amazing to me at the timing of all of this. I feel like I am being molded and tested at a very rapid rate. I truly feel that Heavenly Father is on my side. More than that He gives me assurances and quick "hugs" of the spirit to let me know I'll be okay. And He sends angels like all of you to pick me up when I fall.

So I'm good...and who needs a psychiatrist when I have a journal that talks back:)


  1. I have to say that we are all a work in progress! There are so many things that I wish I could do better (or not at all for that matter!) Just remember, that if all people threw their problems in a pile, you would always take your own right back!

    Also remember that your family loves you so much!

  2. Ha ha! A journal that talks back...I might steal that phrase sometime. Blogging is great for so many reasons! And yes...anger is genetic in this dang family!

  3. AHEM! Those damn genes! Ok, I feel much better now! I just love you Lyenna!!! Thanks for your honesty, and for taking the time to share your thoughts with us!

  4. We're none of us perfect, and I hope all of us can face our imperfections with the same humble and self-effacing attitude that you do. It's not easy.

  5. I really like Megan's advice...I'll have to remember that one. Yeah, what is it with these Roush genes...ha ha!

  6. Megan is wise beyond her years....Sis, you wear your emotions on your could suppress your emotions into a deep never ending crevasse with the hope that it will never explode as Mt. St. Helen.

    Or not!!!!!

    Just picture in your mind the photo of the kitty that is hanging from a branch... "Hang in there"


  7. Kelly is SOOOO right! We could just bottle them up but then we erupt and that is truly not a pretty thing either!
    I can't explain how much better I felt after airing my dirty laundry on my blog. Weird but I felt like my sorrows were speaking and not me and then when they were done, they weren't dominating my heart and thoughts anymore. I let go of some things that I had been trying to hold on to for some stupid reason. I know that Heavenly Father has asked us to give him our burdens to carry....but why do I hold on to them for so long???
    YOU are awesome. Don't forget how many people you have on your side...on your team....and how much you are loved. I think I can safely say that when someone has joy and success we all feel a little success and joy because of it, and vice versa with sorrow and pain. We are all in this together....
    love you Lyenna!

  8. A journal that talks back. eeeh he he! so true. :)
    I just want you to know that the reason I told you about my goals is because you are one of the people who motivates me to reach them. You are just you. You don't put up a front. You don't BS anybody. And you certainly have never tried to "monkey anybody off the pole." You are not like that, never have been.
    Those are just a couple of the things that I love about you. Thought you should know.