Blogging really is theraputic, as my very wise cousin Tina, put it. So here I am once again blogging for the 3rd time in a matter of days. I think the Roush emotions swing high and low on a day to day, and minute by minute basis.
I want to first give a shout out to the people who love me. THANK YOU!!! If it were not for you and your cheering, I would be a sad sort indeed. Life is quite an adventure...
This leads me to why I'm blogging. I have been humbled today. I was thinking about all the things I have been complaining about and I realize I have brought a lot of it on myself. I have learned, in a not so pleasant way, that what I think, manifests itself because I look for it to validate why I think that way. Okay let me explain. If I feel insecure about, lets say, what I'm wearing, I automatically feel like everyone is looking at me because I am uncomfortable in what I'm wearing. Then if a comment is made, even if it is innocent in it's intent, I have a tendency to manipulate it and turn it into something much bigger than what it was because of what my thought was originally. This could be said about a lot of things in life. If you believe people don't like you, you will find reasons why you're right. I am the master at this, and it is one of the reasons why I play the role of victim so well. So I apologize. I am still a work in progress, and I'm glad for that.
Beyond all that, I am grateful for this rocky journey I am on. It is amazing to me at the timing of all of this. I feel like I am being molded and tested at a very rapid rate. I truly feel that Heavenly Father is on my side. More than that He gives me assurances and quick "hugs" of the spirit to let me know I'll be okay. And He sends angels like all of you to pick me up when I fall.
So I'm good...and who needs a psychiatrist when I have a journal that talks back:)